| Entry Thirteen |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|02:59 pm] |
Well, the resolution is still holding, amazingly enough. I probably won't make it past this week, as my least favorite holiday is fast approaching.
Valentine's Day. I would lay bare my secret cynical side and churn out an increasingly verbose and emphatic tirade on how unfair and shallow this troublesome holiday is---raping the hell out of my thesaurus in the process, as I'd have to use large words in order to make my point clear---
---but that would take time. And energy. And honestly, my feet hurt, my eyes are itchy from lack of sleep, and I've closed with the library three times this past week. I may or may not be trying to get away from the two remaining wenches in my apartment; one has left of her own free will, God bless her and keep her far, far away.
Suffice it to say that I won't be folding my cares into paper hearts and lace this year.
( [Private to Kin] ) |
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| Entry Twelve |
[Jan. 17th, 2007|09:41 am] |
It's 2007 and I'm still around. It's 2007 and I still have a ridiculous excuse for a "wife".
Shit. I'm must be doing something wrong. My schemes seem to be falling up short this time. Yes, I've been mysteriously absent---blame school. I have had a lot to deal with as of late, and I've done a good job of not dealing with any of it.
I've also been volunteering at my cousin's school.
Excuse me. Wife. You may not use my toothbrush. Yes, you told me you had your own, but I know that someone has been using mine as I have found the bristles moist sometimes, and I always dry it after I use it.
This is not okay. |
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| Special Entry: Blushing Bride |
[Dec. 21st, 2006|07:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Little Black Ache," Bishop Allen | ] |
I called my mother today. We had a lengthy conversation which started in English, but lapsed into a very coarse Japanese yelling match as both of our tempers found their ends. As everyone has basically heard through the grapevine, I'm to be married. My wife came in a neat little box sealed with evil, from Russia with love. The hag set it all up without my knowing...which is utterly illogical, really. I mean, who sets up a marriage without telling the husband-to-be? Did I ask for a wife? Do I need a wife? No. No, not really, but the hag that bore me wants me to use my genius sperm instead of wasting it. She acts as if there's some kind of use-by date marked on each little swimmer.
If anyone needs me, I will be out smoking on the roof. After I'm done with this pack, I'll be jumping off, thanks.
Ino, you get Shunmin. Remember to give him Cocoa Puffs from time to time. He likes those. Roughage, or whatever.
Chouji, you get...well. Whatever you want of mine, I suppose. My computer's crap, but it still runs. The password is 'password', as wifewench has already found out. |
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| [Entry Eleven] |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|09:39 am] |
Goddamn holidays. I drove for five hours in gridlocked traffic last night in order to be at home for the annual InoShikaChou group Thanksgiving. So far, there's no fewer than fifty "shared" relatives clogging the household, eating and drinking and generally being far too merry for their own good. If Chouji's mother and my mother have it their way, I'm going to leave for home ten pounds heavier and unable to fit in my pants, I swear to God. Every time one of the two finds me with a clean plate, I get an admonition of "OH, Shikamaru, you've gotten so thin! Have some more, honey".
Scratch that. I'll be lucky to squeeze in the car when I'm through with the Thanksgiving festivities.
Ino, when the hell are you getting here? You'd best show up before the uncles start getting drunk---elsewise, you'll get ass-groped by anyone here claiming to have even a little Nara blood.
Myself exempt, of course.
I think I might continue the Nara Holiday Tradition and go find where Auntie has stashed the alcohols :). |
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| Entry Ten |
[Nov. 10th, 2006|01:57 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | d:, pneumonia, sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Two Points for Honesty," Guster | ] |
So. Wench One made me sick. It went from cold to pneumonia. Somehow. Went to the hospital.
Did not pass go. Did not collect $200.
So that's where I've been---in bed, with my cat, trying not to hurk my cookies on an hourly basis.
My mother will not stop calling. Ino, you owe it to me to field her calls. |
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| Special Entry: The Auction |
[Oct. 6th, 2006|06:06 am] |
[Backdated to 10/5]
Someone had better buy me at this auction, goddammit.
...
I've never felt so wholly ridiculous in my life.
A pox upon you, foul wench. A pox I say. |
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| Entry Nine |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|11:07 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Chameleon Boy," Blue October | ] |
Got a job at a local coffeehouse. It seems pretty laid back and shit, and I could use the extra cash.
Ino, Kin, you'll probably not be seeing much of me around in the near future because of that.
Be a friend and keep the sounds of your Shika-Free Celebration down to a dull roar.
( Captain's Log: L is for Languid, Limp, and Loser ) |
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| Entry Eight |
[Sep. 21st, 2006|08:05 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | birthdays, old | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "English Summer Rain," Placebo | ] |
Twenty-three tomorrow. First official full day of autumn.
I keep holding my breath, waiting for something to happen. Just something. I'm not even really looking for something large, something poignant---just something impressive enough to wake me up and sober up once in a while.
Ino, Shunmin took your present (YES, I GOT YOU A PRESENT WITHOUT HAVING TO BE REMINDED, SHUT UP) so if you find something sparkly when you're cleaning, it's probably your birthday present come a wee bit early. I can't be bothered to go on a wild goosechase for it.
Temari, you...
Never mind. |
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| Entry Seven |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|10:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The brat scribbling behind me | ] |
…
Chouji. What do children usually eat? Normal ones, I mean. Ones that have gotten tired of boxed macaroni and cheese, but who turn up their nose at fish. I’m no master chef, obviously, but I don’t think giving him Cocoa Puffs for the next week would be considered a well-balanced diet (Shunmin didn’t like it, so I can only assume that a child would like it no more than a cat did).
This is what happens when you decide to do nice things for your relatives. They stick you with your four-year-old cousin for the week, oblivious to the fact that you, the practiced bachelor, have no idea what to do with grubby almost-people who are eternally dirty and who have used up the last of the band-aid supply due to repeated dangerous encounters with the stairs.
Oh. Uh. Ino. The hag heard about your auction thing, and she decided to take it upon herself to find something for her darling son to wear that will negate his gloomy so-so looks, and will get him sold at a high price.
…you’re going to have to take the clothes out of the box yourself. I refuse to touch them. I need to write a letter to that woman---I’d rather not prance out in front of people looking like a Japanese hooker, thank you very much. I saw leather. It scared me.
Mother-dear’s been watching too many Queer Eye for the Straight Guy reruns spiked with Japanese pop performance videos. It’s a deadly mix, I assure you. We need to talk about what is required of me for this…thing.
( Captain’s Log: Jack O’ Lantern Grins ) |
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| Entry Six |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|11:42 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | cats, headache, ino, relationships | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  fuckin' headaches | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Lies," Evanescence. Shut up, it was on shuffle | ] |
This is how I distract myself from my supreme lack of life.
The Kitten War and Stuff on My Cat. Proof that other people don't have lives either comforts me in a strange and really sick way.
And Ino? I still say "NO" on the whole auction thing. Nobody would bid on me, and wouldn't that be embarrassing. I'd rather not be subject to your twisted kicks, thank you.
( Captain's Log: Dissention Among My Inner Ranks ) |
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| Entry Five |
[Aug. 12th, 2006|09:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Mr. Brightside," The Killers | ] |
The elevator door has been sticking. Someone should fix that.
And Ino? That old friend of yours you set me up on a blind date with? Satori, was it? She had three nipples, and she introduced herself just that way.
Hi, I’m Satori and I have three nipples.
I promptly shut the door on her and ordered Chinese takeout. I’m not that desperate, despite all appearances otherwise. Please, do us both a favor and stop trying to play matchmaker---especially since you seem remarkably inept at it, for a woman.
( Captain’s Log: Life these last weeks ) |
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| Entry Four |
[Aug. 4th, 2006|05:02 pm] |
Been working too much.
No, really. I have. It may not seem like it, but I've been doing some projects on the old workhorse, coding and shit, and...mmm. Headaches. Migraines, more apt. I've been staring at the computer screen for so many hours now, I've had to pull out my old man glasses in order to stave off eye strain. My squint may or may not have gotten worse.
So, being so overworked (woe is me; Ino, I could use a neck-rub), I've taken to playing "old school" video games to relieve stress.
It hasn't worked out incredibly well.
( Pulled out my copy of Oregon Trail II... ) |
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| Entry Two |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|03:26 pm] |
I spent the night of the fourth with a concussion. I honestly don't remember chunks of what happened that night---a fight? Several? It's all fuzzy and somewhat uncomfortable at the same time. According to the bruises all along my neck and upper-back, I had a great holiday.
Signed up for fall classes today. Got the usual confused looks when I introduced myself as Shikamaru, an atmospheric studies major; laughs upon the explanation that I just like clouds.
Ino, I need to go shopping. ...for clothes. ...because the hag gave me money to get clothes, and threatened to burn the clothes on my back if I didn't. ...don't make this into something big, will you?
Chouji, if you're not doing anything this weekend, I have a couple bottles of hard lemonade and an old Risk game set. I think we need to have a...chat. Or something. |
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| Entry One |
[Jul. 4th, 2006|04:49 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | first entry, holiday | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | BOOMCRASHFZAAAAA. Aka, fireworks. | ] |
Obviously, everyone is getting ready to enjoy the fourth. I'll never understand why this holiday is a secret excuse to abuse our freedom to blow shit up. I hope it doesn't get too loud tonight; I want to sleep.
Somehow, I doubt I'll be able to.
Ino: If you ever answer the door in your underwear again, I swear I’m just going to go retarded. Your idea of underclothes and my idea of underclothes clash. Tittylace /=/ decent. I have no idea how Chouji deals with you on a daily basis, and you…well. He’s dating you, isn’t he? That whole mess is…troublesome. I am conflicted as to what I think of it, so I’ll just let it slide for the time being. I don’t want to think about it for the moment, so be a love and don’t…touch him when I’m around. It makes me uncomfortable, you two...
Chouji: I want mackerel this week. Piri-piri mackerel, if you’d be so kind. Saw it on the cooking channel with that---what’s his name---man in the apron. White apron. Ladel. Fat. I’ve learned only to trust fat men with food, seeing as a skinny chef must be lying, or a massive hypocrite. You’re neither, and you haven’t cooked for me for two weeks. I’ve missed it. I’ve lost four pounds, ‘cause I keep forgetting to eat.
Me: Shunmin needs more cat-type food, or I will have to train him how to eat Cocoa Puffs. I think he might eat ‘em if they’re soggy enough. I might have to test this theory, now that I think about it. It could be scientific. Probably not, but I know it might burn the time between my naps and classes. |
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